Sometimes when my gut tells me someone has something to hide, I usually steer clear of that person. This is one of those times I should have.
This old flame left the state 8 or so years ago and we lost contact. It hurt my heart deeply at first but of course, time makes things harder to deal with. Some where deep in my heart, I wished he was was still here with me and not in California. Every time I thought about him, I thought about how different my life would be if we were still together. We were two peas in a pod; there was never a dull moment between us. I was madly in love with him and I wanted to spend the rest of my life cherishing him. We even decided all those years ago when we matured, and when we were ready, were to wed and have 5 children. I was in nirvana and on cloud 9, then all of a sudden, I’m on the ground looking up at where I once was. He left because of some family issues and we never spoke again. We spent those last 3 days saying goodbye to each other. It took so much in me to not go to California with him. I would have traveled across the world to be with him; that’s how much I loved him.
Well, I’m glad I didn’t do what I felt in my heart all those years ago to do. I fell in love with a man I thought I knew but didn’t at all. He’s been back home for some time now and he found me on Facebook. We talked on there for a while and he wanted to meet me and so we met in a public area. I wasn’t taking any chances, he could be a serial killer for all I know, now. We spent a lot of time talking back and forth, and he seemed like the same person but he was making my gut throw up red signals. Never in a million years did I think I’d ever see him again. When I saw him in person for the first time in a long time, all of those old feelings came rushing back and for a second there, I was blinded by them. Well I’m not anymore.
This guy said he was single, just got back home from California two months ago, working and about to start applying to go back to college. Well I found out differently. He isn’t in a relationship perse but he isn’t single with his baby’s mother staying with him in his one-bedroom apartment. He has one kid and one on the way by the same chick. He’s working, making a decent amount of money to support his two children and he’s not attempting to go to school at all.
When I found this out, I confronted him. He told me that he and his girlfriend – was once his fiance (decided that marriage isn’t necessary) – got into a huge argument at the beginning of the year when he was still in California about traveling back to Ohio. He left later on in the year and she finally came so he could see his kids. For a minute there, he said, that he wasn’t interested in being with her and he was just going to share custody with his kids and move on with his life – which is why he looked me up on Facebook. Which was another lie. He finally admitted that he didn’t want to leave his girl, he want to make things right with them so he can be a huge part of his daughters lives. It’s just that, he. “saw me and all those old feelings resurfaced”. Pfft. Right.
I was thoroughly pissed when I found this out. Not for the reasons you may think. I’m upset because of the lies. I told him straight up that I’m currently still married but me and my husband are separated indefinitely and that I have a soon-to-be 18-month-old son. I didn’t hide anything from him and I didn’t expect him to do it to me. He was playing games; he wanted his cake and eat it, too. Let’s just say that I gave him an ear full. There was no reason to lie to me, especially since it’s been so long that I’ve seen him. I would have been fine with being friends with him; we didn’t have to be together. To stand there and lie to me in hopes that’ll keep me around is just plain disrespectful, and selfish. His greediness, his lies has made me hate him and see him a different light.
How are you going to be “moving on” and there is someone staying in your house that’s conflicting with that so-called, moving on? He spit some game, I fell for it but I wised up when a good friend talked to me about the things I told him he said to me. I feel like a fool, but never again.
There are two situations like this I’m familiar with and I hope the other one don’t turn out to be like this one or I will lose all hope for love, forever this time.
Filed under: Me Tagged: dating, life, relationships
